18 THINGS THAT PROVE THAT YOU’RE A CERTIFIED DOG PARENT

Dogs are like babies who learn and progress fast. They understand when you’re rambling about Karen from work or Jake who broke your heart over text during Econ 101. Basically, they’re the ideal combination of baby + best friend. And while being a dog parent may be the thing that we’re most proud of, there’s no denying that our furry friends can put us in some pretty awkward situations.

Here are 18 things that you must have faced as a dog parent. Let’s make it interesting. Take a shot if any of these do not hold true for any of you dog parents. I swear to God, if y’all get drunk, y’all ain’t dog parents. Sorry, I don’t make the rules!!

DO NOT take a shot if:

-While your pupper was teething, they could just not stop biting everything within reach, but you love them regardless!

-Your little demon baby stole your sock/underwear/rag and ran around like Usain Bolt!

-Your angel ever put their head on your lap when you were having a ruff (sorry, pun intended) day.

-Your dog sniffed your guest’s *ahem ahem* nether region and you had to spray freshener into the awkward air.

-While playing, your dog accidentally bit you and left you with a small crater on your pinky.

-You’ve bawled your eyes out watching “Marley & Me”, “Hachiko” and every other movie, video, or even a picture featuring a dog.

-While rubbing your dog’s belly or the “sweet” spot, they start pedaling their imaginary bicycle faster than you ever could.

-You’ve always loved them pawing you because it’s just their way of saying, “You’re a good boy too, Linda.”

-Your dog got really sick and you couldn’t hold the tears back.

-Your dog has left a nasty poop on your beautiful beige rug. The stain won’t come off so you DIY the heck out of it.

-Your little demon has left you with one and a half pairs of flip flops. (I still can’t find the other half. Help!!)

-Your doggo just won’t sleep on their bed and will instead plonk themselves right next to you.

-Your doggo kicks you to the tail end of the bed while they take up 90% of the covers.

-While working you suddenly catch yourself cheering for them as they sleep-run through fields of daisies. 

-The crinkling of a chips packet indicates snack time for both of you. Not to mention, their puppy eyes while they beg until you melt and just give in. The kind of battle you always lose.

-Your dog does the happy little tippy tappy dance when you’re back from work or school.

-Your dog TPs your house more than those stupid high schoolers during Halloween.

-Your dog can hit falsettos with those “awooos” better than Mariah herself.

-Last but the real heavy one: You’ve always imagined your dog walking down the aisle on your big day and growing old with you. 

If you’re not even a bit tipsy, then Hello Hooman, we luff you. You’re a certified dog parent and you deserve a treat (sorry again).  

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